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在悠遠的山林中,有一座廟宇,裡面住著很多修行的人。其中有兩個和尚,一老一少很引人矚目。寺中的老和尚,每次下山化緣,人們都會看到他後面還跟著一個小和尚,兩人如影隨形。別看這個小和尚年齡不大,不過因他自幼出家,長年跟著長老修行,卻也是根器不凡。平日在寺院中,他做著燒火煮飯,挑水打掃的雜務,卻也不亦樂乎。

小和尚的疑問:佛是什

     一天,小和尚拿著掃把打掃佛院,忽然心血來潮,看著大殿裡的佛像,忽然想到一個問題:「我跟隨長老多年,每天都在誦經念佛,參禪打坐,到底佛是什麼呢?」

     小和尚放下掃把,跑到長老禪房,向他請教:「請問佛是什麼呢?」老和尚慈祥地說:「佛就是覺悟的人啊!他在污泥中不會受到污染,在難中也不會遭殃。 他不動腳就能『行走』,不用燃燈就會放出光芒。」(《佛祖歷代通載》卷五:佛者覺也。……在污不染。在禍無殃。不行而到。無作而光。故號為佛也。)

   小和尚聽得心花怒放,高興地問道:「那怎麼做才能修成呢?」老和尚會心一笑,對他說:「諸善奉行,諸惡莫做,意念清淨,自然達到。」小和尚懇切地說:「師傅,我很早就聽說過這樣的話了。只是,您能否用親身體會來教我呢?」

   老和尚就問他:「那我倒要問問你,現在每天你都在做什麼呢?」小和尚想想說:「比如,我們下山化緣,有人罵您,您不生氣。我就跟著師傅學,如果有人罵我,我也不生氣。您喜歡幫助別人,我也像您一樣為他人帶來快樂。」

     長老稍有嘆息地說:「唉,我教你學佛,可不是教你一味地學我呀!即便你能全部模仿我的言行舉止,但你能模仿我的心嗎?」

忍飢挨餓 也不生怨

     小和尚啞然一笑:「噢,這個還真的很難!」老和尚就教他去面壁靜坐。就這樣一天過去了,小和尚靜靜地坐著,忽然想到:咦,怎麼沒人來送齋飯呢?可能是師傅年老了,忘了吧。小和尚也不生怨氣,忍飢挨餓地繼續打坐。

     可是到了第二天,還是沒有人來。小和尚想到:這是師傅在考驗我吧,以鍛鍊我的心志。師傅愛我如此深切,我更不能生怨恨心了。小和尚更加感恩地精進著,以此來報答師傅。

     老和尚在外面悄悄地觀察他,見他端坐在蒲墊上,沒有生絲毫的嗔怒,點頭微笑著:「好樣的。能夠不生雜念,不看眾生過錯,自然能夠遠離魔障的困擾。」

     長老喚他出定,說道:「我看到你正念不退,即便細小的思維,都不墜入人的是非怨恨中。你心能清淨,跟我來吧。」小和尚就緊跟著長老出門了。

     老和尚帶他進入一間禪房,小和尚看到桌案上分別放著一碗米飯,一杯熱茶,一領僧袍,一雙筷子和三枚銅錢。老和尚對他說:「你前天問我,應該怎麼修行,怎麼弘法?我現在給你三枚銅錢,你自己下山化緣,領悟其中的意義吧。」

珍視機緣 如意施

     小和尚下山後,途中遇到一個乞丐,看他一路走來,沒有一個人施捨他食物。小和尚心想:「世間的德,還真是稀有呢,他遇不到熱心的人。可是我一介貧僧,自給尚且不能,應該怎麼幫助他呢?」小和尚自己兩天都沒有吃東西了,對乞丐充滿憐憫,但也無可奈何,只好離去。

     他來到一個食鋪,買了兩個饅頭。望著手中的食物,他想:自己吃都還不夠,但終是不忍心一個人吃,就決定施捨一半。

     可是,小和尚轉念又一想:時間飛逝,轉眼就是無常。這次碰到了不幫他,下次可能就沒有機會了。沒有人會一直等著我,等到我全部準備好了,他們再來。雖然現在我很餓,但是遇到乞丐,吝嗇食物和錢財,還以「無可奈何」為幌子,不想施捨,這可是心病啊。我應該先治療自己的心。

   再說,我現在的肉身,或早或晚都會失去。但我的心,那顆向善的心卻不會失去。這樣想想,小和尚也不覺得自己餓了,反而心中升起光明和喜悅。於是,他將手中的食物全部施捨了出去。

佛性光芒 澤及飛

     因為佛性的照耀,小和尚處在溫暖的祥和之中,身心俱悅。不知不覺中,他就已經走到了山坡上。他正沉浸在喜悅中時,忽然迎面飛來一隻飛蛾,一個避閃不及,飛蛾重重地撞在他的眼睛上,一時令他痛苦不堪。

     小和尚一面忍著痛,一面想:我已經發下大願,修煉成佛。如果因為一隻小小的飛蛾,我就心生怨恨,自己尚且不能自度,還怎麼去救度眾生呢?!不但不能心生怨恨,還應該為牠祈禱,希望牠不要受傷啊!

     這樣一想,小和尚的疼痛,隨著心的平復,也逐漸平息了。他的心中再次升起一片喜悅和光明:別看這隻小小的飛蛾,牠可是為了幫我成就成果,使我不斷地忍苦精進而出現的。如果以後再有類似的傷害,我都要高興地接受,以感恩的心接受牠們,因為牠們都是為我而來啊。

反思「一無是處」 小和尚覺

   老和尚遠遠地看著小和尚,觀察他的一思一念,發現他對世間的事已經明了於心:善念為先,就能把眾生放在最前面。心念清純,沒有罣礙,精進的動力也就不會消減。

     小和尚回到寺院,畢恭畢敬地對長老行禮,他說:「師傅,我明白了那幾樣東西的所指。當我遇到乞丐,就要施捨茶飯;遇到窮人,就要施捨錢財和衣物;遇到受傷的人,就要及時幫助治療。我所擁有的一切,都是為了用於造福眾生,隨時準備捨去的。」

     他的這番話,使眾人聽得心服口服,惟有長老默不做聲,只是在紙上寫下幾個大字「一無是處」,遂即起身離開了。

     眾人一看,紛紛交頭接耳。小和尚也很疑惑,明明是光明燦爛的一天,為何師傅說我「一無是處」呢?他又開動智慧的腦袋:「師傅待人向來慈悲,待我更是如此。是不是我說錯什麼話了呢?」

     他仔細回想自己的心態,說話的語氣,忽然意識到:「哎呀,我一味地追求自己的感受,如何去悟,如何去做,還不如真正地實實在在地去修呢?師傅並不是在生我的氣,而是在考驗我。師傅不希望我只是修成菩薩一般的嘴,還希望我有實踐的真心啊!」

   回想剛才說的那番話,他意識到:「表面上看好像沒有錯,但是我的心卻不純淨,因為我希望讓大家知道我的心地有多麼慈悲和善良,我的道德涵養又有多麼高深。我不能這樣想!當我動起驕傲的念頭,遠離清淨的意念時,我的心就已經『一無是處』了。」

     老和尚悄悄地在一旁點點頭:小和尚思想乾淨,不染纖塵。能夠時時捨棄雜念,將善擺在首位,足以進入意淨不染的佛國世界了。

     就在此時,小和尚豁然看到眼前不再是凡間的樓台亭閣,而是一片金光燦燦的佛國世界,他正端坐在蓮台上,自由地昇華呢!

資料來源:  http://www.epochtimes.com/b5/18/2/10/n10131912.htm


女英雄

開始看武俠小說,是從念大專才開始,信不信由妳。那是從我辦了一份市立圖書館的借書證開始,那時,姊們喜愛皇冠雜誌,所以能讓我看的書不多。學校也有借書證,於是我開始大量閱讀,每星期一定借滿圖書館的核准數量回家啃。

我的武俠精神卻是從小就有了,以前不懂,看了武俠小說,才知道這可稱為女俠、女英雄,不過我還是喜歡「女英雄」這個名稱。

話說我只有四、五歲時,第一任務就懂得保護大我一歲半的姊姊。每次媽媽帶我們回外婆家,外婆家的表哥們和鄰居的臭男生,不知為什麼老是鬥我姊流眼淚,人小鬼大的我,使出第一招「先聲奪人」,接下來就是「魔音傳腦」,一大堆的笨男生,逃的逃,躲的躲,全怕了這「魔音傳腦」。

想學「魔音傳腦」嗎?請先拜我外婆、媽媽、舅舅和舅媽為師吧。當我使出第一招:「要打架?來呀,來打架。」人雖小聲音可真大,如雷貫耳,可傳十戶之外,接下來,師父們齊聲傳來:「妹妹ㄚ,不要和人家打架。」這句「魔音傳腦」之功力震得他們又驚又怕,還以為我是打架高手,一眨眼之間,全跑光了。識實務者,就留下來巴結我,不用我爬上樹去摘芭樂,就有人親自送上門請罪。

可是下一次再回外婆家,他們似乎都忘了以前的事,歷史的故事就不斷的反覆發生。我這保護姊姊的女英雄,只有繼續當下去了。

唸小學時,男生們大多都很調皮,喜歡欺負女生,說好聽點就是逗女生哭為樂。由於我不愛說話,又有住隔壁的兩位同班男生受到他們家大人的特別指令,不能欺負我,要照顧我,我們常玩在一起班上的女生,他們也就不太敢去惹她們。因此到小學五年級,天下還算是太平,我當女英雄的機會等於零。

六年級因搬新家,轉學到一所較近的學校。不愛說話的老毛病很難改,所以班上同學真正認識的不多。到了下學期,有一天,看到一位女同學幾乎整天都是紅著眼睛,這位女同學品學兼優,可就是有點嬌滴滴和兇巴巴,動不動就愛向老師打報告,這人如何,那人如何,說真話,我不怎麼欣賞她的行為。看她愁眉不展,忍不住問她,原來,放學後一群男生下戰書要打她,威脅她不能告訴老師,她很害怕。

聽了之後,久違的「女英雄」氣概又回來了,我跟她說:「放學之後,妳跟我一起走,我送妳回家吧。」好不容易捱到放學,她真的就跟我一起回家。

我帶著她遠離隊伍,過了大馬路,繞個彎,走向一片草原,四下無人,後面跟著一批傻小子約五、六人,像是護衛軍,護著我們回家,很熱鬧。我叫她不要去理他們的叫嚷,她見我似乎胸有成竹,眼淚不再掉了,緊緊地走在我的旁邊。那片草原約有五百公尺長,最後到了一排三層樓房的後面,中間隔了一條一公尺寬的水溝,我把書包往水溝的另一邊拋去,然後在水溝有一較狹窄處,溝中有一塊大石頭的地方,我兩腳橫跨兩岸,牽著她的小手,叫她踏上石頭,幫助她過水溝。

等她安全過了水溝,我跳過水溝,回到草原,然後張開嗓門,使出很久未用的武術第一招「先聲奪人」,大聲喊到:「要打架?來呀,來打架。」剛喊完,媽媽的「魔音傳腦」馬上從樓房後院裡傳出來,「妹妹ㄚ,不要和人家打架。」「不要和人家打架。」是一把利器,剎那間,傻小子們一愣,然後嚇得連跑帶飛的跑出草原,立刻消失無影無蹤。他們沒想到我這個轉學生,平時不愛說話,很溫和安靜,卻是個愛打架的女英雄。經過這一次之後,這群男生不再找那女同學麻煩,對我呢,好像事情從沒發生過般,日子和從前一樣,不太注意我這個轉學生。

那天我嚇跑了一群傻小子之後,我實現我日間的諾言親自送她回家,然後自己一個人再走回家。

好幾年以後,我在某公司上班,有一天同事們為某事在辯論著,忘了是為什麼事,只記得聽了之後心中很煩,突然我對他們說:「如果是我的話,我會路見不平,拔刀相助。」剎那間,空氣冷凍了,沒有人想到一個平時不愛說話,很溫靜的女孩,竟是這般的人物。這辯論會立刻劃下的休止符。

如今,我還是很喜歡看武俠小說,深覺百看不厭。有時回想起小時種種,心中好高興,欣喜自己是個「女英雄」。

 (原文寫於200632)

真情深處 (二) --- 2-2

霍志豪一愣,沒想到她會這麼說,立刻想到字條,說:貴人多忘事,能否請賞光幾分鐘,私下談談,妳會想起來我們是認識的老朋友。流露出一股真心誠懇的眼光看著小文。

小文輕咬著嘴唇,眼睛直看著他,像是在想什麼事,片刻後,點點頭,說:跟我來。

進入同樣的房間,小文指著沙發,霍先生,你請坐。小文看他還站著,自己就先坐下,霍志豪這時才坐下,一開口就問她:為什麼要說不認識我?

這裡你不應該再來。

我是來謝謝妳。

我沒做什麼,何謝之有?

那晚給妳很多麻煩。

沒有什麼,在我們這行業是司空見慣。你不用客氣。小文很冷靜的回他。

霍志豪聽她的回話,感覺到她的故意冷淡,愈想和她說話,一時又說不上來,看到化妝台上的餅盒,借口說:我能不能吃點餅乾?肚子有點餓。說完,自個走去拿。

對不起,沒什麼可以招待,你請自用。

       打開一看,還是太陽餅,問:妳喜歡吃太陽餅?

真巧,我也很喜歡吃太陽餅。妳也吃一個。霍志豪將整盒拿過來。

謝謝,我剛吃過。

這是妳的餅乾,應該是我謝謝妳。霍志豪不客氣的吃太陽餅,眼睛卻看著她。

小文輕咬著嘴唇,眼睛看著地板,似乎在想什麼。室內變得很寂靜,偶而傳出霍志豪翻動袋子的聲音。霍志豪慢慢地吃,吃了兩個,才放下盒子,愉快地說:很久沒吃太陽餅,太好吃了,謝謝妳。

小文抬起頭來看他,當四目接觸時,似乎有道電流擊中雙方,兩人的心猛然一跳,小文立刻把頭別過去,還是看著地板,很輕聲的說:沒有什麼事,你可以走了。以後不要再來,我不會見你。

霍志豪站起來,溫暖的聲音,很有磁性地說:我走了,請多保重。走到門邊,回頭看她,她還是不動的坐在沙發上,輕咬著嘴唇,眼睛看著地板。

(待續) 

真情深處 (二) --- 2-1

     三個星期之後,霍志豪忙得都忘了這件事,突然陳大炮又跑來找他,一開口就問他:你喜歡小文?

誰是小文?

哎呀!就是青青河畔的girl,那晚一直跟你在一起的那一位。

喔,她?

有沒有覺得她不一樣?

什麼不一樣?

至少跟老婆不一樣。

中雄,你怎麼了?

我說志豪,你事業做了這麼大,不要只老婆一個,應該身邊有幾個漂亮的小姐,這才是享受人生。

沒有這份福氣。霍志豪聽了有點不悅,勉強裝笑的打哈哈。想起翠萍提起那女孩的電話,要他交友小心。中雄,抱歉,今天我很忙,現有個會正等著我,有空我打電話給你,咱們再聯絡。

我知道,你很忙,有空別忘了去看她,總算也有一夜關係的情誼存在。中雄壓低聲音,皮笑肉不笑的說,然後離去。

霍志豪等陳中雄走出去,從皮夾子裡拿出那張未署名的字條,又看了一遍,她叫小文,腦海裡立刻浮現出那女孩輕咬著嘴唇,雙眼直盯著桌上那六杯酒的表情;那晚自己醉酒,有沒有發生關係,自己也不清楚,紙條寫明是沒有,她也打電話給翠萍,一個人睡在沙發上,她應該不會說謊,但她為什麼要這麼做?那異樣的感覺再次在心裡頭飄浮,有股衝動想去看她。

整個下午,霍志豪心情不定,有點焦躁的熬到快下班,打電話給翠萍,沒說什麼只說會晚點回家。就直接到‘青青河畔’,一個人來,覺得很陌生,不自在的站在櫃台前,指名找小文,小姐問他:有沒有事先約定?

約定?沒有。

對不起,沒有事先約定,今天你無法見她。

小姐,我是她朋友,麻煩妳,通知她,我有事找她,幾分鐘就走了。霍志豪有點失望又心急,臨時應變的說。

好吧,先生,你貴姓?

霍先生,你請等一下。

過了一會兒,那小姐出來了,後面跟著是小文,小文穿著一套很樸素的便服,漂亮、清秀的臉蛋,長頭髮飄逸的垂在肩膀上,任何人看了都會心動。在小文一看到他,有點驚喜,隨即改變口氣,說:這位先生,我認識你?

(待續)

小護士

最近老爸說他的眼睛有點怪怪的,檢查一看,有點類似沙眼的跡象。給他點些沙眼藥膏時,不禁地想起了小時候。

小時候,推算起來也是四、五十年前的事,那時台灣的生活環境和品質很差,衛生問題也挺嚴重。

有一時期,頭蝨沙眼突然很嚴重的普及,到底持續了幾年,我不太記得。我只記得那是在我小學二至四年級的時候吧。先是頭蝨,莫名其妙的感染,幾乎無人逃過此劫,每天用布包著放了藥的頭,一、兩星期吧,更長或更短,忘了。當不包頭之後,就開始每天翻頭髮,抓死蝨去卵,妳幫我,我幫妳的日子,就像動物園裡的猴子們,在太陽下互相抓蝨,只是沒有人敢放入嘴裡吃。

後來,學校檢查沙眼,哇,全班五、六十個學生,三分之二以上的學生有沙眼,我就沒有。於是,大家每天上完第一或第二節課之後,就要點沙眼藥膏。剛開始是老師給大家點藥膏,我就乖乖(其實是好奇)的站在老師的旁邊幫她拿沙布和藥膏,看著老師給大家上藥膏。沒多久,老師就教我如何給大家上藥膏。

熟能生巧,我因而學會了一手上眼膏的好技巧。其實也很簡單,先用消毒沙布讓他們擦拭一下眼睛(是眼皮啦),發兩塊消毒沙布,一手一塊,然後左手的大拇指和食指將眼皮同時一上一下的翻開,藥膏立刻擠上,上好藥膏之後,他們自己自動化地將沙布放在眼上,輕輕的按摩,直到藥膏溶化被眼睛吸收為止,前後只需幾分鐘,大功告成。

從此上保健室領沙眼藥膏和消毒沙布,給同學點沙眼藥膏就成為我的專任業務,我就像個小護士。

這職位給了我某種特權,是這樣子的啦。幾乎每個班級都在下課時去領沙眼藥膏等,保健室在那短時間內都爆滿了,我就和老師商量能不能等上課鐘響時,我才去領,或者是下課前提早五分鐘去。老師一想也是對的,所以我每次去領,就我一人,於是和保健室的正牌護士,連帶隔壁的福利社小姐阿姨,一回生二回熟,成了好是一家人般。

班上好多位女生家境很好,口袋總是裝著重重的零用錢,可是有錢也沒用,想買個健素糖吃,等到上課了,就是排隊也買不到,人太多了。那時的福利社什麼都不賣,只賣台糖的健素糖,圓圓的,小小一粒粒的,好多顏色,挺漂亮的呢,外層有包糖的叫 健素糖,沒包糖的只叫 健素。於是她們就託我幫她們買,好朋友的事有何不可呢,況且福利社的小姐阿姨和我很熟,另外,我買時,都會多出一點點,大家更樂了。

小護士外加採購專員成了長達一年半的職務,天天都很快樂,天天都有健素和健素糖可吃,我還需要什麼零用錢嗎。

小護士後來差點成了真護士。初中畢業時,高職聯考,不幸考上了省立台中護校,全校只有四個人考進去,初中導師高興得不得了,我們班就兩個考上,我和好友班長。左右鄰居都覺得很了不起。母親大人一聽,臉黑了,「什麼,去唸護士。妳那脾氣怎麼能當護士呀。」

校長夫人聽到我不唸,親自跑來當說客,向母親遊說,說什麼千載難逢,多少人想考進去都沒辦法,還有未來能出國,畢業後是金飯碗…,結果,不行還是不行。說真話,我也不敢唸,我怕打針啊。

說來真不可思議,當年好友的我們共四人,班長第一個唸護士,小琳高中畢業後考上台北醫學院,小倩見血即昏倒的嚴重毛病,後來居然嫁給醫生,還會給人打針幹嘛的呢。只有我,到如今除了孩子小時給他們擦擦小傷外,包括小孩在嬰兒期到衛生所打預防針,還是老爸抱去的,我只敢在門外等,更不用說 看打針了。小護士的名號似乎成了歷史上的一個插曲。

「喂,老媽,妳到底會不會點眼藥膏,怎麼感覺藥膏好像都沒點上去。」老爸叫著。

「你說什麼?翻眼皮上藥膏,到如今還是一流技術。」老媽突然被人從甜美的回憶夢裡拉回現實,又聽到抱怨聲,還嫌她技術本位不佳,不由得一大把火氣上升。

「可是就覺得…」

「吼,你敢說我不會點,自己照鏡子看看,我點得好不好。下次不給你點藥膏了,要點自己弄。」老媽說完,氣呼呼的走了,臨走時又加了一句:「藥膏在桌上,等會兒,眼睛能睜開的時候,不要忘了放到冰箱裡。」

「呼,好兇喔。」老爸嘆了一口氣。

 

(原文寫於2006417)

落花生

可看過那著名的弗朗索瓦·米勒名畫 - 拾穗。稻子收歌後,幾位婦女彎腰撿起田裡遺留下來的稻子。每次看到家中這幅畫,我就想起我也曾有過的拾穗,只不過我撿的是落花生。

那時我幾歲,我忘了。台中附小的右側,民族路旁有一大片花生田,每年到了九月中開始採收,永遠記得第一次隨姊姊們去撿花生時。那是一個大太陽的下午,當姊姊帶著我們到了花生田,對我來說,好像發現新大陸般的驚奇,尤其驚訝花生是長在泥土裡,一顆顆的花生生在它的根上,當時覺得好不可思議。當一棵花生連根拔起時,花生主幹下掛著好幾條鬚根,生滿大大小小的花生,像是一串串的大小銅鈴,當時覺得花生好厲害,也真好,一棵就能生好多好吃的花生。

剛採收完的花生田,像是戰後的戰場,到處凌亂,散落的花生在地面、在土裡,枝葉如斷了手腳的士兵,到處橫躺,也有那被忽視了的整棵花生,直挺挺的站在原位。

不知過了多久,姊姊們高興的聲音才把我從驚訝的狀況中拉回現實。三姊手裡拿兩個大盆子說:「歐巴桑說我們可以撿花生,撿了以後放到盆子裡。」於是我們一起動手開始找花生、撿花生。在物質缺乏的日子裡,民生問題-吃是最重要的一件事,沒幾下,小手已是沾滿泥土,在小小心靈上的感覺,這不是髒,而是努力收成的喜悅。此情此景就像名畫像中的人物,彎著腰撿東西,只不過畫中的婦人變成小女生。又過沒多久,泥土已毫不客氣地跑到我們的衣服、腳上,個個弄得滿身是泥是土的。

撿了多久,忘了,只記得四人帶著滿身泥土,興高采悅地捧著滿滿兩個大盆子花生回家的情景。回到家之後,在我家的庭院也是廚房裡,三姊立刻起火,我們三個小的負責洗那些沾滿泥土的花生。很快火起好了,三姊叫我們先將洗好的部份放進鍋裡,人手多,大手小手一起來,才一會兒的功夫,洗淨的花生剛好一鍋。待我們洗去全部花生上的泥土,鍋裡的花生也煮熟了。香噴噴的花生,又甜又新鮮,好吃極了。那兩盆花生使我們一家人足足享受了一星期的天天花生,好過癮。

現在想起吃花生時,那種滿足知足的感覺,彷彿還存在。滿足自己用手辛勤的撿起地上一粒一粒的落花生,也為自己有花生吃而感到知足。這快樂的時光僅僅維持三年,後來那塊田建了好多別墅型的房子,上次返台,老爸特地開車載我去繞了一下,那些房子已又變成了一棟棟的高大樓房。到了那裡,記憶中的事物全不見了,若不是師專附屬小學那長長圍牆的提醒,否則感覺自己不知身立何處?

從此,摸泥土的快樂,就像花生般落地而生,永遠長在我的心裡,未曾遠去,一直到今。

Pricked by a Needle

One day a father asked his son: "If a needle is in front of you, what do you do?"
            Such a simple question, everyone knew it. The son was laughing and said: "Of course, I will not step on it to avoid to be pricked."
            The father said nothing and asked: " If a man is in front of you , he humiliates you and insults you, what do you do?"
            The son answered: " Of course, I will defence myself by insulting him too."
            The father said: "The humiliation is just like a needle.  You know not to step on it but you don't know how to avoid the humiliation from the man."
            The son asked: "Father, what should I do?"
            The father asked: "If a man gives you a gift but you don't accept it.  What the gift will be?"
            The son said: " Of course, the gift is still belong to the man."
            The father said: "So..."
            The son suddenly understood the meaning and was smiling: "So the humiliation is the gift, I should return it to him by keep in silent and walk away."
            The father was pleased and nodded with smile. 

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Comment:
          This is a good story.  It is a good manner to avoid argument and fighting in our daily life.
 
 

Complaint is the worst gift to give yourself

One day a young farmer was paddling the small boat to transport his own agricultural products to the other village. That day the weather was hot and hard, the farmer was sweating and miserable. He was anxious in hoping to complete the delivery task in order to be able to return home before dark. Suddenly, the farmer found a boat right in front of him that was along the river down and fast coming.  Seeing the two boats would hit to each other, but the boat did not mean to avoid it.  It was seemed the boat was intentionally to hit the farmer's boat.
"Go away! You idiot!" The farmer shouted loudly to the opposite boat. " Go away, you're going to hit me!"  The farmer's roar was completely useless, so he was attempting to open a watercourse for that boat, but it was too late, that boat still hit his boat heavily.
The farmer was enraged, and he snapped, "Can you sail the boat, or not? This river is so wide and you still hit my boat."  Thus, the farmer was surprised that boat was empty when he glared at it.  The only listener to listen his shouting and snapped was a break out of the rope and an empty boat  drifting along the river down.
In most cases, when you are blaming and/or roaring, your audience may be just an empty boat. The man who had repeatedly annoyed you will never change his course because of your rebuke. A smooth sailing is not in everyone's life, however, in face a sudden difficulties and challenges, what is your reaction?
We often hear the employee complain that the boss is too harsh, the supervisor complained that the workers were not working hard, the parents complained that the child was not obedient, the children complained that the parents did not understand them.  However, after the complaint, that the problems were still existed and even became worse.
In fact, "do not complain" is the  most important awareness in our life, the complaint is to give themselves a worst gift.  "Do not blame", whether to the God or to people, it will lead the life into a good and kind cycle.
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My comment:
Each time when we heard someone  was complaining, we felt sad.   When we complained to something or someone, we would feel ourselves was suffering with angry, mad, and unhappy.  Moreover, the time was wasted, the energy was lost, and the spirit was hidden in the dark.   In result, we had received nothing but only unhealthy life, the problems that caused the complaint were possible still existed and unsolved.

Behind the anger

Before doing things, if we can think and care for others, this is a kind of cultivation, and also a kind of wisdom.  It is a blessing.

Here is the story:
A  gentleman has a Yorkshire Terrie. The puppy is tame and well-behaved.
One day, the puppy was bitten by the neighbor's big dog. The neighbor immediately brought it back to the owner.  When the owner just wanted to hold the puppy, the puppy suddenly attacked the owner and tightly bitted the owner's hand.
The owner was not anger, instead he said to the neighbor: "he bits me because he was hurt. "
This is the dog's instinctive reaction in the injury.  It is not because the puppy hates the owner, but for self-defense to avoid be hurt again.  If the owner mistakenly thinks that the dog deliberately attacks him, it will be anger and make thing worse.

Anger is a sign of stress,  feel hurt, and sadness
A father came home from the work.  He saw the living room was messy and the tools were scattered on the floor while his teenage daughter was using his tools repairing things.  He couldn't control himself but started shouting and roaring.  The clever daughter after the clean-up,  she came to the father and hugged him.  She said: "Dad, you must have an unpleasant thing in your office today."
This sensible girl knows that the father's anger is not entirely against her, but he may be injured by other things, so she did not have an emotional reaction, instead she comforts the father.  It is a great wisdom.
Do we often encounter a similar situation in our lives?

For example:
A child came back from the school, he threw the heavy school bag to the ground.   The mother asked him what happened, he was impolitely said: "You are annoying!"
When a man came back from the work, the wife asked what he would like to eat for the dinner, the husband rudely answered: "married with you for such a long time, you still do not know what foods I like."

Care - the best medicine for healing
In the cases, if one party thinks that the other's temper is against to him/her, he/she must also get angry to fight back with nasty words, or unconcerned,  or by a sidestep to reject the other.   Because we are hurt, we need to self-defense.
But if we can see that when he is fierce to me, because he was hurt, the things can be more correctly solved.


How do we face a mind injury person?
At first, he needs to be understood and to be accepted.
If a mother could say to the child: "Told me why you were wronged at school? What was happened today?"
If a wife could say to the angry husband: "You are in a bad mood.  Who make you angry?"
If a husband could say to his depressed wife: "You work hard at home all day with the children, what can I do for you now?"
So the emotions of the other party could calm down quickly by the feelings of being understood and accepted.  He/She might even feel sorry for the performance of being impolite.


Another story:
Anna's toes were injured. One day, her sister, Helen passed by and touched it.  She had an instinctive crying: " Why did you step on my toes? it is very painful."
Helen was shocked.  Was she deliberately step on Anna?  It is not.  In fact, it was just a little touch.  Helen was not deliberate.
If the toes were not injured, even if Helen stepped on it, Anna would not be angry.
Anna was crying and felt painful because the wound was still existed, whenever someone touch it or accidentally kicked it by herself, the pain caused Anna was angry to warning others people not to close to it.
The injury of the soul is the same, a mother sobbing on the phone and said: "I think I was almost ruined by my children, their little mistake will make me angry and roar to them. I know I should not say that ugly words, but there is no way to control ..."
The wound of this mother could be inferiority, uncertainty of her own value, so when the children had poor performance, she felt herself was negative.  The instinctive reaction after the negation was anger when a little mistake from the children touched her wound of the soul. 

Thinking - the beginning of the breakthrough
From another point of view, when we, ourselves become the sensitive, irritable, unreasonable, out of control, we should also be aware that the reason is probably that we have been hurt, and the injure has not been recovered.
Moreover, we are not the enemies, we should be more friendly and kindly to treat each other, whether in a family or not.

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My comment:
If we can understand inside of ourselves, what problem needs to be cured or solved, and then, find a right way to remedy it.  It will be able to be emotional stability and that will let's other people more like to close us.
We also will be able to see the fact that unhappiness is not caused by other people, it is caused by ourselves.
Therefore, we will be able to do positive  for our life with happiness.

The Boundary between Shortcomings and Advantage

An old rich man wanted to give his asset to the most mature and personality children before dying.   So he found a way and called these three sons come to see him.  He said to them: "I decided to distribute the heritage, but I do not know how, can you help me?"
Then, he gave each son two sheets of paper and said: "You write down your advantages on one sheet and the shortcomings  of another two brothers on another sheet. After that, give these two sheets to have another two brother to sign their names on it.  Whether it is the advantages or disadvantages, who write more and complete it in short time who will share more wealth. "
The next day, in the early morning, the three sons together come to the father's room.  The first two sons were arguing for the signature, whether to sign it or not.  The third son quiet sit beside leisurely.  The father asked him about his situation.  He answered: "I have the two older brothers' signature."
The father was astonished and said: " How did you do it?"
The third son said: "I wrote my own advantage of this sheet is blank, and wrote brothers' shortcomings on another sheet is also blank, I think I have no advantages, they have no shortcomings, so they accept it with no difficulty, of course, they all agreed it and signed it for me. "
The third son said: "The paper I wrote my advantages is blank, and another one also is blank for my two brothers' shortcomings.  I think I don't have any advantages and their also do not have any shortcomings.  So, they simply accepted it and signed it.
The old man asked another two sons to show him their papers.
The old man was laughing after he read their papers because what they wrote on the papers have the same amount of the advantages  of themselves and the same amount of the shortcomings of the other.  The interesting thing is what the oldest brother thinks about his advantages just is the shortcomings in the second brother mind.  Contrarily,  The second thinks of his advantages just is list as the shortcomings on the oldest brother paper.   They look at their own views just diametrically opposed.
Father saw the two older sons still were disputing, couldn't stop, so he asked the third son for a good suggestion to solve their problem.
"I suggest that if they sign their name on the paper of their shortcomings, if you could first admit your own shortcomings, the other party will agree that you have the advantages," the third son said.
The two older brothers accepted the little brother's suggestion.  The results indeed made everyone was happy.  The two sheets with the shortcomings and the advantages were successfully signed by the two older brothers.
The old man nodded  with a big smile.  He checked the sheets for the signing time: the two older brothers were at one minute passed ten, and the other is two minutes passed ten, the gap is only one minute.  The signing time on the third son was 24 hours earlier  than the two older brothers.
Then, the old man gave each son one envelop with a note inside of it.  It is written:  "To have others to accept your logic is very simple.  At first, you have to admit your shortcomings, then, the advantages will have space to be promoted.  To have others to accept your method is also simple, it is just to think what the others will think and feel, but not at first to trying to defense for yourself and protect yourself.
The old rich man gave the three brothers an envelope, which put a note, which says, "the original to others to accept your logic is very simple, first admit that they have shortcomings, the advantages of growth space. The way is so simple, first experience the feelings of others, not the first to protect their feelings.
The boundary line between advantages and disadvantages  is not in us, is in the hearts of others.

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My comment:
This is a very thoughtful story. In now day, most people don't like to admit his/her shortcomings, but like to show off his advantages.
Sometimes, the boundary line between advantages and disadvantages is quite vague, because of the position of people.  Different point of views could make the advantages become the shortcomings and the shortcomings to be as the advantages. For example, a person who is frugal but to another point of view he/she is stingy, or,  a person who works very carefully hard as an advantage, but other people might think he/she is very picky as a shortcoming.
If we could only see others with their advantages, then, everyone could be happy. Therefore, if an advantage could be a shortcoming, so why complain to someone for the shortcomings.